by John and Deb Mahaney ~ Owners of Gloucester Uechi Karate Academy
Deb and John both hold Fifth Degree Black Belts
As the saying goes, you get more with honey than with vinegar. Having taught both children and adults for the past 13 years, I have learned that I can easily use my authority to get a student to make short term changes in behavior, however, only my influence will make them want to institute these changes for the long term. These long term changes are going to help the student feel successful, not only in their training, but also in their life outside of the school.
Many parents over the years have asked how I am able to get their child to pay attention, listen and be disciplined when this is such a struggle at home. One of the strategies I use is to create an environment in which the students want to perform and do their best. The first step is having a realistic expectation for what you want and clearly communicating this in a positive way.
Your expectations must be stated clearly in a way that the child understands. One way of doing this is by using a strategy called PCP or Praise Correct Praise. In the school, we start off by telling the child what they're doing right. For example, "Good job keeping your knee up with that front kick." Then we provide a correction which helps the student get closer to what our expectation is, "Next time, remember to keep those toes pointing forward." The last step is to recognize their effort for improvement when they apply the correction, "Great job! That was much better!"
Starting and finishing on a positive note makes anyone more receptive to constructive criticism. Another strategy to turn around undesirable behavior is called Reframing. We use positive language and avoid communicating in the negative. Instead of saying "Don't stand on the bag", we would reframe and say "instead of standing on the bag, please stand over here." When communicating in this way, not only have you told them what you don't want them to do, but you've also guided them in the direction of what you do want them to do. Even when a child is doing something wrong, you can always help guide them to start doing something right!
Making a child feel successful and valued is a sure way to get them to start to choose positive behaviors. Sometimes the negativity that we get from children is a reflection of how we're approaching the situation. If a child exhibits a lot of undesirable behaviors, challenge yourself to identify the moments that the child is doing something that deserves approval.
Be on the lookout for good behavior! When you see it, praise the child and let them know how much you appreciate their efforts. Over time, they will seek out those good behaviors because of how good it makes them feel to be recognized in a positive way. Creating a positive atmosphere does take some effort, but the long term rewards are worth it!
Deb and John Mahaney have been practicing martial arts since 1993. Both Deb and John are fifth degree black belts in the Uechi Ryu Style, and have been teaching children and adults in since 1998. Their teaching style builds confidence, trust and self-discipline in their students. In July 2000, they opened their Karate Academy in Gloucester and have strived to build a productive and encouraging environment as the foundation of their school’s community.
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